When we started this journey it always came to mind that although our daughter was not with us now, she was in existence somewhere out there. Since referrals slowed down, that notion seemed to fade away. Recently, since our 3 year LID anniversary (May 15th), those feelings have resurfaced and I have this internal excitement over our daughter, that I can't quite explain. Being that we may be just shy of a year to meeting her, she already exists, that just amazes and saddens me. She may already be born or close to it. If she's still growing inside her biological mother then she's experiencing the warmth yet confusion and stress of her mother's impending difficult decision to let her go.
It makes me sad to think that by the time our daughter meets us, she will have had two major losses in her life. She will lose the love of the mother who she grew inside of and her caretaker whom she'd grown to love. This will be a difficult transition for our daughter. We have educated ourselves on helping her to cope with these feelings that she may not be able to articulate until she's much older. Don't worry baby, we'll be here for you the rest of our lives, God willing.
--Although you didn't grow under my heart, you grew in it.
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